Iridescent
by Moerighan
Summary: A young girl comes Thedas in an unusual way and makes friends in strange places, will she find her way home? And will the strange markings that the blood mage gave her help her in any way? M!Hawke with OC/Fenris OC/Sebastian (Cover pic commissioned by askbroodyelf.)
1. Chapter 1

**This story is inspired by the song Iridescent by Linkin Park, it involves a new OC (from an AU) and Fenris as they join Hawke in his journey. Please review and let me know what you think. I will still be working on my story **_**Mage Heart **_**But the song got so into my head I had to start this one too!**

**(ps. The 'Tevinter' is latin as it has been said that the language in the game was based off of latin and the ancient roman empire)  
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OOOOOOOOO

All she could remember was the fog, she had been walking to school and it had come out of nowhere blanketing everything. She couldn't see and everything was muffled. She had called out, the eerie silence sending a chill up her spine. She heard voices but they sounded so far away. As she moved toward them it sounded like chanting, and it was definitely a different language.

"Hello?"

The voices abruptly stopped, the fog did not clear but she could feel herself being dragged, pulled along by many hands. She tried to fight it but her body was bound, she could not scream as the voices began chanting again.

"_Sanguis et caligo veneficus lapis petenda sacrificium, corpus ut ardeat nust ...__"_

Finally the mist cleared and she was surrounded by a group of robed people, too frightened even to scream she was paralyzed.

"Donec perventum,"

The voice belonged to an older man with salt and pepper hair, his grey eyes seemed to stare into her soul.

"What do you want from me?"

She had finally gotten her voice back but it was a squeak in the face of this intimidating man.

He did not speak to her but called out in his strange language, suddenly she was being dragged away again.

"Please, what is going on? Where am I? Please someone help me!"

Her frightened screams echoed throughout the tower and fell on deaf ears.

It was all a dream, it had to be a dream…

But as she cried herself into an exhausted sleep on the cold floor of a dungeon, it felt all too real.

OOOOOOOO

"Suscita puella."

The voice woke her from a fog filled dream. She sat up, her body aching from the hardness and cold of the floor. So it wasn't a dream, she was really here in this strange place. A young man was looking down at her curiously, she was startled by his foreign appearance. His hair was snow white right from the roots, she did not think it could be natural and he had strange blue tattoos etched all over his body. But it was the ears that had her gaping, long and pointed, like an elf…

"This is a joke right? I'm being punked…"

He frowned, it was obvious he did not understand what she was saying. He spoke, pointing to himself as he did so.

"Ego Fenris."

Fenris? That must be his name. She copied his action, pointing to herself as she said her name.

"Sam."

He repeated it smiling, she kind of liked the way it sounded when he said it. She could not understand a word he was saying but he managed to convey himself clearly with actions.

_Here is food eat, some clothes too._

She looked at the bowl of what looked like stew ominously; the look on her face caused him to chuckle. Tentatively she took a bite and found it surprisingly good. She ate ravenously, not remembering the last time she had eaten or even how long she had been here.

"Fenris!"

A woman's voice sneered out the words and her new friend seemed to cower at it, Sam looked up as the owner of it entered the room. She was not much to look at, short brown hair and bright blue eyes, the look on her face as though she smelt something bad. She spoke to the elf, growling at him and kicking him as he left the room.

Elf, Sam still could not get over that fact.

The woman looked down at her as though she was something disgusting, she spoke but the girl still could not understand anything. The woman grew frustrated, slapping her across the face and barking at her.

"What the hell! I don't know what you're saying!"

Sam was not brave but being hit because she couldn't understand just pissed her off. Comprehension dawned on the woman's face and she smiled, if you could call the unpleasant leering smiling. She pointed at the clothes that Fenris had bought her and then pointed at Sam, she did not turn away which forced Sam to undress in front of her.

She realised she was still in her school uniform, she had been on her way to school when she had been bought here. She still didn't understand how. Understand, that word was steadily moving up in her vocabulary. She dressed in the long white robe, it was way too big for her, the shoulders nearly falling off and exposing the budding breasts of a pubescent girl. The woman did not seem to care and instead barked at her once again, pointing to the door. Grudgingly she walked in front of her, she only went willingly because she knew she would be dragged otherwise.

She was unceremoniously pushed into yet another stone room, this one resembling the one she had first walked into. The man with the scary eyes greeted her, he smiled but it did not quite reach those soulless orbs. He grabbed her hand and turned it so that the palm was facing upwards, a dagger was produced and her eyes widened. She tried to pull away but his grip was strong.

"Please," she pleaded, "Please just let me go home!"

He ignored her, instead turning his gaze to the roof and chanting once more.

"Invoco veterem deorum! Sanguine hoc argumentum meae devotionis!"

He cut into her palm and she screamed in agony, his grip was like a vice. The woman came up behind her, holding her in place so that she could not move. He was cutting a pattern into her palm, blood cascaded down her arm and onto the robes. Finally he stopped just shy of her wrist and she was able to take a heaving sob…

Until a pain she never thought could exist burned its way into her palm, she cried and screamed until she was hoarse as a blue liquid was poured onto the cuts. The man then held her hand up to his face and licked it, she had never felt such revulsion. He finally freed her, letting her drop to the floor like a stone. She held her palm to her chest and felt the blood soaking into the white robe turning it crimson. No one attempted to bandage her, it seemed they were all patting each other on the back as she lay bleeding to death on the floor.

She was picked up and moved, but she could not see who held her, she felt sick and was amazed she had not fainted or thrown up already. As she was placed gently onto a soft bed she looked up, Fenris watched over her, concern and sympathy etched onto his features. His expression only made her cry harder and she could feel the tears mixing with blood and mucous on her face.

"I w-want my mum!"

She could barely get the words out through her heaving sobs.

He sat and patted her head gently before taking her hand and tenderly bandaging it. It still hurt so much, as though she had placed her palm onto the service of a hotplate and let her skin melt away. She was shocked to see her hand already healing, an iridescent blue glow just below the surface of healed pink skin. She looked at her hand and realised that she had been given a tattoo much like the ones covering the elf.

How had he survived such torture? She had thought she was going to die and it was only her _palm_, he seemed to have them all over his body from what she could see. Once again exhaustion overwhelmed her and she let out one more heaving sob before the oblivion of sleep overtook her.

"_Floris parum sollicitus sum, et contristatus__…"_

OOOOOOOO

Sam woke once again to find herself staring up at a stone ceiling.

Her heart fell.

At least this time she was warm and comfortable. She sat up and looked around her, Fenris sat on the floor next to the bed his head leaning against the side of the bed. She touched his arm and his eyes opened, pools of evergreen looked back at her and she sat back with a start. He groaned and stretched, standing with difficulty after sleeping all night on the floor. He took her hand and removed the bandage, she gasped when she saw that it was fully healed, the white blue glow faint under the surface.

"You will be fine," he smiled and she gasped.

"I understood you!"

She felt so happy that she wanted to cry again, she had to take a deep breath to stop herself; her face was already puffy and probably red. She let go of him and he spoke again,

"Aliquam?"

"_What the?"_

Tentatively she touched him again.

"Say something," she asked unsure.

"Something."

Well it _was _something, apparently she could only understand him when she touched him. They both seemed to work this out at the same time.

"I have so many questions for you Fenris," she squeezed his arm as she spoke, "Where the hell am I, how the hell did I get here and how the hell do I get back?"

He sighed.

"As to your first question you are in the Tevinter Imperium, Minrathous to be exact. As for the others…"

He stood and not wanting to break the connection she stood too placing her tattooed palm on his lower arm.

"Blood magic brought you here, I do not know how you would return to your home."

She looked at him incredulously.

"Magic, really."

Her tone implied that she did not believe him.

"After all you have seen, after what has happened to you, do you really doubt magic?"

He had a point.

"But _why_? Why am I here? And who is that creepy old guy?"

He looked at her thoughtfully as though carefully mulling over what he was about to say.

"My master Danarius, 'the creepy old man' is trying to become a god. I think he did something to the Fade to bring you here, manipulated it somehow."

It was all too much, she had too many questions and they all bubbled out of her at once. He spent the next few hours filling her in, mages, magic, demons…

"This has to be a dream, or I've gone crazy, or-"

"Sam," he cut into her rambling, "It is not a dream, you'd best get that figured out quickly or you will not survive the week."

"Oh **Fenris**…"

The woman from yesterday's voice echoed toward them and Sam saw for the first time that they were in a locked room.

"I have a present for you Fenris…"

So she could understand that woman too whilst holding onto her friend. Fenris shrank back from the door, growling like a kicked puppy.

"Who is she Fenris?"

"Hadriana!" He hissed it like a curse, "She is Danarius' apprentice and revels in making my life a living hell!"

The door burst open and Hadriana stood, an evil smile on her face. Sam shrank away and hid behind the elf, only know seeing how short she was compared to him when she did not even reach his shoulder.

Sam's hand burned as she was pushed out of the way, falling heavily onto the bed. A leather collar was clasped around Fenris' neck and he was led chained out of the room. She watched helplessly, not being able to do anything as the door was slammed back into her face.

OOOOOOOO

All she could do was sit, for hours on end. She was so bored she thought she would go out of her mind. What little light there was filtering through the tiny window (which by the way was too high for her to see out of) was fading fast and she was afraid they had forgotten about her.

When he returned he looked the worse for wear, he had been beaten so badly his eye was fused shut and blood still dripped from his face and neck. He collapsed onto the floor and she rushed to his side, his groans pulling at her heart. A slight sheen of sweat covered his body as she touched him.

"What did they do to you?"

He didn't reply as he looked at her with his one good eye. She wished so much that she could help him and as she thought it the tattoo under her skin began to glow. A blue light travelled from her palm along his own tattoos and up to his face, his cuts and bruises healed before her eyes and without thinking she pulled her hand away breaking the link and becoming dizzy. He shook his head and sat up just as shocked as she was.

He grabbed her hand and smiled slightly at the implications of what had just happened.

"Hadriana is not going to be happy."

_That _was an understatement.

When the mage came to torment Fenris again and found him fully healed she was beyond furious, Sam thought she was going to spontaneously combust her face went so red as she screamed. The girl was man handled and moved to another room, protesting all the way. Alone again she couldn't help but cry. He was only down the hall from her but without the link of touch she couldn't understand what he was saying to her. Frustrated and depleted she did not reply.

Days passed, she stopped counting after three weeks. Each day Fenris was marched past her cell allowing only the briefest touch before he was brought before either Hadriana or Danarius. No words were spoken but they had formed a bond, a mutual hatred of mages and slavers.

Eventually someone came for her, she only wondered why it had taken them so long. Apparently they had been waiting for some fortuitous day. Once again the blood ritual was performed, this time on her right hand. Only this time when she was returned to her cell there was no Fenris there to bandage her hand. The pain seemed to resonate through her soul, echoing through both her hands. She was beginning to forget who she was, snippets of her previous life catching her by surprise and she paced her cell endlessly.

OOOOOOOO

Voices woke her, shouts and crying, something was happening. Her door crashed open and she was rushed out of the prison and into a cage.

"Fenris?"

She tried calling out to the elf but was slapped for her efforts. The cage was on a wagon, other slaves were huddled with her, frightened by the commotion. The wagon proceeded at breakneck speed and for the first time she was able to glimpse the outside world as it passed her by. She was just happy to be in fresh air. She looked around for her friend but he was nowhere to be found and she began to panic as the cage was loaded onto a ship. It was not long before they were sailing steadily away from the harbour and into the unknown.

It was weeks before the ship docked. It seemed someone remembered them every now and then and threw scraps down into the hold for them to fight over. Sam realised that her markings scared the other slaves so that if she ever approached them they did not fight her for the food. She felt disgusting, she had not had a wash since the morning she had left her home. She still wore the oversized robe that had been given to her, it was stained with blood and grime and was no longer white.

Finally they were taken ashore, she was able to glimpse the beach briefly before they headed into an unknown city. The giant chains connected to two ominous statues both scared and awed her. They were taken to a house and moved underground, once again being placed into cells. Despair overwhelmed her. She had not seen or heard Fenris in so long, she didn't even know the length of time. It had definitely stopped some time before thy had been brought here. She sat and resigned herself to her fate, wherever her friend was, she hoped he was doing better than her.


	2. Chapter 2

**(p.s Don't try to translate from latin to English, it doesn't come out the same way it goes in )**

Sam was kicked awake again. Bruises littered her body from the beatings but for some reason the slavers went easier on her then they did on the other slaves. This caused malcontent and she was never able to make any friends or even get close enough to touch them. She learnt some of the language, little phrases here and there but not enough to put a proper sentence together. No matter how much work she did her hands remained soft and supple, the blue under the surface glowing faintly. She had not been tortured further, for now her hands were the only things tattooed and in the absence of Danarius and Hadriana she thought she might finally be able to escape somehow.

Everyone was acting strangely, no one spoke much and when they did it was in hushed tones. They were never allowed out of the lower rooms of the house and were not even allowed to look out of the windows.

She prayed. She didn't know who she prayed to, or even if there was anyone to pray to but it eased her heart just to put in words how she felt. It had to be coming on a year since she had come to this place, a year she had been missing from home. She often wondered how her mother and father were, how long they had looked for her before giving up. She couldn't count the days but her birthday would probably be passing by soon….

Fifteen and spending it alone and enslaved.

She had no more tears, they had dried up long ago with her hope. When she wasn't thinking of her parents she thought of Fenris. Even in their short acquaintance she had felt close to him, had felt his pain. Whenever she was upset her hands glowed, that was when the guards would beat her. She didn't know why but suspected they were afraid of her, as though the tattoos meant something. If she knew what it was and how it would have helped she would have been out of there faster than you could say escape.

She sang to herself a lot, songs from her home that probably would have sounded strange to these people but she was beyond caring. She was singing when she heard the fighting. It sounded just like when she was in Tevinter and wondered if she would be moved again. She sang louder as the commotion came closer covering her ears and closing her eyes.

"_There's no place like home, there's no place like home…"_

She screamed as the door was kicked in, curling into a ball and whimpering. A harsh gasp caused her to look up. A dark haired man stood above her, his amber eyes bore into her. He held a staff in his hand which immediately marked him as a mage.

"Bethany?"

She looked at him confused, pressing herself hard against the wall wishing it would swallow her up.

"Brother what is taking so-"

Another gasp as the man who spoke followed the gaze of the first.

"Maker what is this devilry? She looks just like-"

"Bethany…" The first man repeated.

He took a step toward her and she flinched as though she had been slapped, he stopped dead in his tracks concerned.

"You don't need to be afraid of me, we can help you."

She was surprised she could even understand them, they were definitely not of the Imperium. He took another step toward her and she raised her hands.

"Do not touch me mage!"

Her voice was not as strong as she would have liked. He looked at her helplessly before backing away, turning to the other man.

"Carver can you..?"

There seemed to be a question that the second man wordlessly answered. The mage left the room and Sam sighed in relief.

"What's your name?" asked the man called Carver, he was big and burly but he had kind eyes, she could not help but relax.

"Sam."

He nodded and stepped toward her as though she were a frightened rabbit ready to flee.

"Listen to me Sam, the slaver's here are all dead. We need to get out of here before they realize we found this place. My brother and I would have you safe if you will let us."

"Brother?" She asked as she slid up the wall and stood.

"The mage is your brother?"

"You know what they say, you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family."

This caused her to smile a little, she agreed to follow him out of the house. She was sure she was dirty and smelled but Carver didn't seem to care. As the cold air of the night hit them she shivered, it had been a long time since she had tasted fresh air.

"We need to go, _now_!"

They were joined by the mage and surprisingly a dwarf. Sam had not yet seen a dwarf, he was nothing like the people classified thus where she was from.

They ran. Her legs cramped from misuse, Carver had to hold her arm and half drag her as they went. Finally they reached a small house and she was pushed inside, her rescuers following close.

"Maker Hawke," gasped the dwarf, "Remind me never to get on your bad side, it seems…unhealthy."

"Garrett?"

A woman's voice from behind them caused the girl to turn, the woman's eyes widened and she nearly fainted on the spot. She rushed at Sam hugging her so tightly she couldn't breathe.

"Oh Bethany, my Bethany…I thought you were dead! The Maker has returned you to us…"

"Mother…"

Garrett, the mage gently pried the woman off of Sam, she stumbled backwards looking warily at them all.

"_Who the hell is Bethany?"_

She asked herself silently as they looked at her.

"There is a…very uncanny resemblance Mother, but it isn't her,"

Sam was shocked to see such tenderness coming from a mage, she thought they were all thuggish brutes. The woman sighed and wiped her tears away, looking at the girl with glistening eyes.

"I-forgive me, you have a very striking resemblance to someone who was lost to us."

"Oh…"

The girl didn't know what to say to that, no wonder they had all acted so strangely and called her that name.

"So how did you end up in that house? We had no idea any of the slaves were still alive when we got there."

She looked at Carver who nodded; she still didn't trust the mage, no matter how much love he showed for his mother.

"I don't know. I came here on a ship and have been there ever since."

"Hey look at this…"

The dwarf picked up one of her hands and looked at her palm.

"Doesn't this look familiar to you?"

Garrett took her hands surprising her; she was shocked to find her skin did not crawl at his touch.

"Where did you get these?" he asked her, looking at her for any sign of deception.

"I-I got them from the man who brought me here, when I was in Tevinter."

He nodded and looked at the dwarf who seemed to be caressing his crossbow.

"Varric, I think Fenris will want to know of this."

She sat bolt upright at the name.

"Fenris?"

They were surprised by her reaction to his name.

"Do you know him?"

She ran to the door, nearly knocking Varric over in the process.

"Take me to him, right now!"

Her vehemence cowed them into obedience. It had to be him, it could _only _be him.

She was led through the streets her now tattered robe trailing behind her as she walked. They entered a very well to do neighbourhood and she was suddenly very glad it was late at night and that no one was around to see her. They came to the door of a mansion, it did not seem in as good upkeep as the rest of the town but was still magnificent in its own right, better than anything she had seen in the past year and a half. Garrett knocked on the door but she pushed him out of the way, rushing into the house.

"Who is there?"

She recognised that low grumble immediately, even in the unfamiliar language. She ran up the stairs two at a time, knocking the elf over in her attempt to reach him. He looked up at her from his back in confusion before recognition lit up his eyes.

"Parum vobis est quod flos?"

In his surprise he had slipped back into the familiar Arcanum tongue. She didn't realise she was crying as she touched his arm, her fingers glowing as they met his skin.

"I've missed you Fenris."

"I've missed you too."

Garrett, Varric and Carver had followed her up the stairs.

"Sorry Fenris," the mage apologised, "As soon as she heard your name she had us rushing over here like the place was on fire."

The elf did not look away from her as he replied.

"No need to apologise Hawke."

He stood and helped her to her feet, she was suddenly very aware of how dirty she was and how shirtless he was. She blushed and looked away, she had never been shy around him before and the unfamiliar feeling of embarrassment was not pleasant.

"So…What now?" asked Varric.

"Honestly? I have no idea."

Garrett turned to her, after all the excitement and adrenaline she was exhausted. Her legs buckled under her and Fenris had to catch her. She was grateful for his warm, strong arms.

Sleep took her, and for once she was not glad of it.


	3. Chapter 3

She sat in the tub soaking. Long after her fingers had gone pruney, long after the water had gone cold and filthy. It had been so long she just wanted to revel in it for a little while. Finally, shivering she stepped from the tub. She put on the robe Leandra had laid out for her, wondering if it had once belonged to Bethany, whoever she was.

Against her will she would be staying with the Hawke's in Low Town. She had protested but even Fenris had agreed it would be safer for the both of them.

"Why should I trust a mage," she had grumbled glaring at him.

"Do you trust me?" he asked looking at her in earnest, she sighed and nodded.

"I trust Hawke, he is a good man even if he is a mage."

She fought not to roll her eyes at this statement but if Fenris could put aside his hate for magic for this man then she supposed she could try it also.

Leandra had been overjoyed to hear that she would be staying with them and Sam wondered if she was just projecting onto her the girl she had lost.

"Sam?"

The older woman knocked on the door and entered, a twinge of pain entered her eyes as she looked on the girl. She took the brush from the bedstand and began to brush Sam's long dark locks. She did not protest, it felt nice to relax.

"Who was Bethany?" she asked curiously, her eyes closed.

The soft strokes of the brush stopped momentarily before continuing, caressing her hair.

"Bethany…was my daughter, Carver's twin. She died on our journey to Kirkwall."

Sam did not know what to say, she had never lost anyone close to her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"No, no" Leandra smiled kindly, "You would have known eventually, it's just that your resemblance to her brings back a lot of memories…"

The girl let the woman reminisce as she fell asleep to the soft, meticulous stroking of her hair.

OOOOOOOO

"We can't just leave her in the house by herself."

Slightly muffled voices woke her from her sleep, she had dreamed she was living in a small cottage, fields of red flowers blossomed around the house and she ran and skipped through them feeling wholly at peace.

"But do you think it's wise for her to meet Ander's? She has just gotten over the fact that you're not an evil maleficar, if Justice decides to show himself she'll freak out!"

"Carver, I understand your concern but everyone is busy today so we have to take her with us."

She stood up and walked to the door, listening at the crack.

"What about Fenris? What is he doing today; I'm sure she'd love to see him."

Garrett sighed and rubbed his eyes, clearly irritated with his brother.

"He doesn't just sit around that house all day twiddling his thumbs you know, he is _busy_!"

Her heart fell at those words, she had been dying to go see him and talk to him. She opened the door, looking at them suspiciously.

"Ah, good morning Sam, I hope you slept well."

The mage's cheerfulness seemed fake to her, all she could do was nod as she sat at the table and grabbed some bread.

"Don't you think you should have something more substantial for breakfast?"

She just glared at him and he raised his hands in parley, turning to Carver.

"Oh yeah, she's definitely over the whole mage thing."

"My point exactly," his brother bit back.

"Nevertheless…Sam, we have some…errands to run this morning, would you care to join us?"

Once again she nodded wordlessly, pulling on the moleskin boots that had been provided for her, they were a little big but she was still growing. They made their way into the bowels of the city, the girl knew the squalor these peasants were going through and her heart hurt. She had escaped her slavery, these people might never have that chance. They reached a small clinic at the very end of the district, it was only mildly cleaner then the area around it. A man in his mid-twenties was standing over a boy that lay on a pallet, his dark blond hair got into his eyes as he touched the boy. A blinding blue light filled the room and the boy sat up looking quite surprised, the blond man staggered for a moment before righting himself on the wall and smiling at the boy.

Another mage?

And he was using his magic to heal?

Sam was thoroughly confused, maybe all mages weren't evil after all? How could someone who healed children be bad? Garrett introduced her, this man was the Anders her companions had been talking about earlier…So who then was Justice?

"It's nice to meet you Sam,"

His smile was contagious, she couldn't help but smile back at him shyly, blushing slightly. As the men discussed their business she sat on a pallet waiting, a young girl sat beside her sniffling. She was very pale, dark circles surrounded her eyes and her frame was skeletal.

"Are you alright?" she asked her gently. The girl nodded but seemed very lethargic. A sickness then, something that Anders had so far not had time to heal, if he could at all. She hugged the girl, stroking her hair and singing softly as she sobbed painfully into her clothes.

"Maker's breath, will you look at that?"

Sam looked down, her hands glowing as they rested on the girl's head. The glow seemed to resonate through the girl, soothing her and breathing life back into her. She sat up, looking at Sam with awe.

"Are you a mage too?"

"Hell no," she scoffed, but somehow she had healed the girl as she had healed Fenris.

She looked around, the men were staring at her.

"Andraste's flaming knickers, how did you do that?"

She shrugged at Anders' question, she did not know and she certainly was no mage. She looked at her palms, the blue glow slowly fading.

"Maybe she can do that the way Fenris can put his hand through people and crush their hearts," said Carver.

"He can _what?"_

"Ahh, maybe you should talk to him about that…"

OOOOOOOO

"So how long have you been able to reach into people's chests and rip out their organs?" she asked the elf casually, causing him to nearly spit out the wine he was drinking.

"Oh, you know about that."

"Apparently I cured a girl of a debilitating disease today, why is that do you think?"

He looked at her then at her palms.

"It is the lyrium in your tattoos, I guess it gives you a unique power as I have mine."

He sighed and put down his wine, he had been drinking it straight from the bottle. She wondered how many he drank a day, seeing the bottles littered around the room.

"I still don't understand, I don't think I ever will. I have long given up ever going home…"

She looked up at him, "I'm so tired Fenris, I miss my family but they seem like a distant dream now, what am I supposed to do with my life? I have no purpose…"

He patted her head, stroking her hair through his fingers as though she were a beloved pet.

"Paenitet me floribus paulo."

She stopped him, "You've said that word to me before, Floris, Floribus, what does it mean?"

He smiled gently, "You are my little flower, even in the darkness you will grow and maybe that will be when you blossom the most."

She looked away, it was such an intimate title, he had called her that the day they met.

_My little flower._

"I'm not that little you know," she murmured softly, "I'm nearly fifteen…I think, maybe I already am."

He chuckled softly then sighed.

"I would not have wished this for you, I wish you could be with your family."

She took his hand and linked her fingers with his, it looked so small in his big palm.

"You're my family now," she smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

She didn't want to like Merrill, the elf was a mage and a _blood _mage at that, but she couldn't help herself! She was just so cute and innocent, yet wise and intelligent all at the same time. Sam wondered what it must be like to be in Merrill's head. She really liked Aveline, the woman had recently become Guard Captain. She was strong and stern but also fair and kind, when she spoke to Sam she did not speak down to her like a child as others had, she spoke to her as an equal, as though what she had to say was important.

She did _not _however like Isabela.

The woman made her skin crawl, to call her a whore would be a compliment. The way she threw herself at every living thing in the room made the girl sick, the pirate knew it to. She seemed to revel in the display whenever Sam was around, _especially_ with Fenris. She said nothing, she knew whatever was said would just goad the woman further. Everyone thought she was overreacting anyway, when Varric had called her prudish she was so offended she didn't speak to him for three days! It wasn't until he offered to teach her how to use Bianca that she knew he was serious, she knew it would never actually happen but that thing was like his child so it was a gesture of peace.

She wasn't a fan of The Hanged Man but it seemed to be where everyone she knew gravitated so she would tag along just for company. It wasn't far from Gamlen's either so she could always go back if she got sick of it. It was here that she found out about the expedition into the Deep Roads.

It seemed to be a big thing, Garret had been planning it for a long time and things were finally coming to fruition. She had heard about the Deep Roads, about the monsters called Dark Spawn that dwelled within and how Thaig's could go on for days. She wasn't too concerned about it until she heard Garret ask Fenris if he was willing to go.

She said up in her chair, the grating of it along the floor casing them to turn to her.

"You're not seriously going to go are you?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Why not?"

"But, what about-"

She abruptly cut off her sentence, she had wanted to say, what about _me_? She had only just found him again and he was going to leave and go on some expedition with no guarantee of ever coming back? He did not seem to notice her hesitation as he replied.

"I owe Hawke, he has helped me more then you could know."

"And whose fault is that?" She seethed, glaring at him.

It seemed she was being left out of everything lately; she was just a child to them, what good was a child in a fight against monsters?

"Sam I-"

"Forget it," she sighed cutting him off. She stood not looking at them as she headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to _play,_ since apparently that is all I am good for."

Before anyone could reply she slammed the door behind her.

OOOOOOOO

She knew it was childish, she had never been one to pout but she just felt so _useless. _Besides helping that young girl a couple of months ago what had she done? Nothing. She had no skills except for cleaning and she would die before she ever did that for a living, being a slave she had done more of that then she ever wanted to in a lifetime.

Before she knew it she had wandered into High Town and found herself in front of an ornately decorated building. Young women in red and black robes walked to and fro, a yellow sun blazing oh their chests. Curiosity pulled her into the building and she gasped as she entered. Two giant male statues guarded the door, their long spears holding incense burners on the end. As she approached the front of the room an even larger male statue came into view. At the top of the stairs stood the golden man, a large golden crown adorning his sorrowful features, a sword in his left hand. Sam seemed in a trance as she moved up the stairs, craning her neck to view the statue in all its glory.

Candles surrounded the feet of the statue and a book lay open its pages inviting.

It was literature on The Maker, she had heard this name used many times and had taken him to be the equivalent of God in her world. She read fascinated by what she saw, and as she did one passage caused the breath to catch in her throat.

"So The Maker turned from his firstborn

And took from the Fade

A measure of its living flesh

And placed it apart from the Spirits,

And spoke to it, saying-"

Her words was cut off by an unfamiliar brogue as it finished her sentence for her.

"Here, I decree

Opposition in all things:

For earth, sky

For winter, summer

For darkness, light

By my Will alone is Balance sundered

And the world given New Life."

She looked at the man as he approached her, his blue eyes piercing and knowing.

"These words seem to catch you, am I right in thinking so?"

She just stared at this handsome stranger in wonder, it was as though he had appeared from nowhere and broken into her thoughts.

"Forgive me for interrupting," he continued when she didn't reply, "You seemed so engrossed I did not want to disturb you, but when you spoke that passage…I could feel the reverence you had for the Maker and just had to join in." He bowed and grinned, "My name is Sebastian, I am a Brother of the Chantry."

Sam was surprised, "You don't look like a monk," she blurted out before covering her mouth in horror. He grinned as he acknowledged what she said, "I must confess, it was not always so, but my heart now lies with the Maker and his glorious bride Andraste."

She turned back to the passage she had been reading,

_And took from the Fade, a measure of its living flesh…_

Is this what Danarius had done?

Is this how she had come here?

And if so, did that mean he had accomplished his goal of becoming a divinity?

It still did not explain why he had branded her, she looked down at her leather clad hands knowing what lay beneath and wondering at the reason.

"I don't know much about the Maker, I think maybe I am an affront to him."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow in surprise,

"What would make you think that?"

She frowned and looked at him, she had only just met him yet she felt so safe with him, like she could tell him all her secrets.

So she did.

He sat in wonder as she poured out all that had happened to her since she came here, her branding, her slavery, her rescue.

She decided to leave out the bit about coming from the Fade, something told her that even he would not understand that. He sat looking at her in silence for a while after she had finished. She could not gauge his expression and wondered if she had said too much.

"Well Miss Samantha, it seems you have seen a lot in your short life, but I can assure you beyond a doubt that the Maker does not think you a mistake."

She wasn't so sure, but she wasn't quite ready to reveal why just yet.

"And I have worked with Hawke myself; he will keep you safe no matter what you think of him. You cannot base your opinion of him based on the actions of a few deranged mages."

She sighed and suddenly realised she was very tired.

"Sam!"

The mage's familiar voice echoed throughout the Chantry.

"I must say, this is the last place I expected to find you."

He approached them, taking to steps at a time and nodded to Sebastian as he stood.

"She hasn't been too much trouble I hope?"

Any kind feeling she had for him went out the window with those words and she glared at his grinning features.

"No trouble at all Hawke, it has been quite pleasant conversing with her."

She smiled at the Brother and blushed when he smiled back.

"I do have something to ask of you, if you have a free moment," Garret added then turned to her.

"If you wouldn't mind waiting for me downstairs, I'll only be a minute."

She didn't have the energy to argue and so plodded wearily to the front doors to wait for him, Sebastian waved goodbye to her as she descended.

She smiled to herself as she waited, she knew she would be returning here tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

She was sitting on the steps below Gamlen's house when Fenris came to say goodbye.

"Will you wish me luck Sam?" He asked her as she stood, even on the steps he was still a full head above her.

"I'm sure you won't need it Fenris."

He seemed concerned, his features displaying a slight frown.

"I do wish you weren't angry with me, I have my reasons for going."

"I'm not angry," she sighed, it was a lie but also a partial truth.

"I just…What if you don't come back? Am I to spend the rest of my life as a Hawke? Do I just give up?"

He touched her shoulders, his gauntleted hands laying heavy on her skin.

"Do you have so little faith in me? I shall return, I think then we will figure out where our futures lead."

She shook her head, dark hair flying around her face.

"I'm just…"

She looked at him perplexed,

"I'm scared…"

He took her hands in his own, even though she wore gloves she could feel heat radiate from her palms in answer to his own markings.

"Stay safe Little Flower,"

She knew he spoke in Arcanum though she understood him perfectly; he gave her a small smile before turning his back on her and heading toward High Town. She plopped heavily onto the steps, a sudden headache developing. As she held her head in her hands she could hear voices, curiously she looked up to see Carver and Leandra approaching, that Carver did not look happy was an understatement.

"What's the mat-"

"He's leaving me behind!" He did not even let her finish her sentence before he was raging, "That bastard is leaving me to rot here after everything we have been through!"

With a growl he kicked open the door, she scrambled to her feet and followed him in as Leandra tried to comfort him.

"Carver please, I think once you calm down you will see it was all for the best."

"Really Mother? You think so?"

The condescension in his tone caused Gamlen (who had been sitting quietly reading) to bristle.

"Now just a minute boy, that is no way to talk to your mother."

"Oh don't be such a hypocrite Gamlen, if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place!"

Carver kicked a chair sending it shattering against the far wall.

"If it's any consolation, I know how you feel."

Sam's voice was small but he heard her, he spun and turned on her his rage not yet spent.

"Oh you know how I _feel_? At least I can fight, I could have _helped_! You're just a kid what can you do?"

Suddenly realising what he had said the wind went right out of his sails.

"I mean- I didn't mean it like-"

She raised her hand to cut him off, although it had hurt she knew it was true.

"I know Carver, I know I can't fight. But I can tell you, I intend to remedy that."

Without another word she left the small house and headed for the Chantry.

OOOOOOOO

When she had first seen Sebastian practising in the courtyard she had been caught by surprise, she had not expected him to be an experienced archer as well as a Chantry Brother. It had been two weeks since she met him and she would return to the Chantry whenever she got the chance. Sometimes she would just silently watch as he practiced, other times she would converse with him, willing to learn all she could about the Maker.

This time though, she had a particular purpose.

"Hello Samantha," he greeted her, he never called her 'just Sam,' like the others did, the same way she never called him Seb or any other abbreviation, to her it just sounded right.

She was breathless as she approached having run nearly the whole way from Low Town.

"I have a favour to ask," she said as she came to stand beside him, he nocked another arrow and let it fly landing a near perfect bullseye. She hesitated as he looked at her curiously, wondering if it was a good idea after all…

"I…I want you to teach me…how to shoot an arrow I mean."

He searched her features before smiling.

"Ok."

"What? Just like that?"

He chuckled,

"Yes, just like that. I have been wondering how long it would take you to ask me."

"So…you've been expecting this?"

She was surprised, she hadn't even thought of it herself until just now.

"I know you feel you have no skills or purpose, I'd like to help give you one."

She grinned, "Thank you Sebastian, you don't know how much I appreciate this."

OOOOOOOO

The days went by quicker than what she would have thought, she missed Fenris, she missed Varric, she even missed Garret much to her chagrin. She spent her days trying to keep busy to keep the group out of her thoughts. Some days she would visit Merrill and converse about the Elvhan, some days she would visit Aveline and run errands that the Guard Captain had no time for, and then of course she would visit Sebastian at the Chantry and have her archery lesson.

She was getting good, she was surprised at how easy it all seemed. Although at first it had been very hard for her to even draw the string now she could pull a longbow almost as big as herself. She built up muscle and strength and was quite awed at the biceps that rippled under her clothing, she was no delicate flower that was for sure.

"I never told you Hawke asked me to go with him did I?"

Sebastian's voice broke through her concentration causing her to send the arrow flying off into the bushes.

"What?"

"The very night I met you actually, that is what he wanted to talk to me about."

She lowered her bow and looked at him, not sure what to think.

"Well I'm very glad you didn't take him up on his offer."

He smiled softly, "So am I."

She went to nock the bow again but her arms were shaking and tired from the strain.

"You're putting too much off your energy into pulling the string back, here let me show you."

He came up behind her and raised her shoulder, he then pulled her hand back gently so that she could feel the tension but not the strain. She suddenly realised what was happening and blushed in embarrassment at the cliché. It felt like a scene out of a corny romance novel, where the instructor was about to-

"Release."

She let go of the arrow as he let go of her, the projectile flying straight and true.

"No bloody way."

There was no way it could be that easy.

"Well done Samantha, I think we are done for today."

He smiled at her proudly and she suddenly realised that her earlier delusion was just that. He was just like them, she was just the kid sister, the little girl trying to grow up. She didn't know why she suddenly felt so deflated, it shouldn't be news to her.

"Are you ok? You look very sick all of a sudden."

She was jolted out of her thoughts by his voice.

"I-yes, I do feel a little-ill. I might go see Anders."

Before he could say goodbye she had run from the courtyard.

OOOOOOOO

"Well if it isn't little Sammy come to visit Uncle Anders."

His cheerful voice bounced off the clinic walls.

"Oh Maker, don't make me vomit."

If nothing else at least Anders made her laugh.

"What brings you to my humble abode?"

He asked, she had to stifle a giggle, humble was an understatement.

"I was just in the neighbourhood…"

"Uh huh,"

He totally believed her, without a doubt….

He looked at her curiously before waving her over, he had a young woman sitting on the table before him, she looked very nervous.

"Tell me, what do you see?"

She looked at him strangely,

"Uh, a girl sitting on your table?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Ok, close your eyes."

She did so, but not before raising an eyebrow.

"Now what do you see."

She opened her eyes and looked at him, "Seriously Anders? If you're just going to-"

"Just do it,"

She sighed and closed her eyes.

"I see…the back of my eyelids."

Without warning he grabbed one of her hands.

"What are you-"

"Keep your eyes closed."

She was obedient as she felt him peel off one of the leather gloves, she could feel him examining her and was steadily growing impatient. Suddenly she felt her hand on burning flesh and gasped, she didn't pull away but instinctively knew that her skin touched that of the sick woman. She frowned as the blackness behind her eyes began to fade and she saw a light, it was the circuitry system of the woman!

"No freaking way, that is the coolest thing ever!"

"What? What do you see?"

Anders eager voice sounded far away but she could still hear him, more light appeared as she saw internal organs and blood vessels glowing with an ethereal light. Then she saw it.

"Anders, is she pregnant?"

He was silent so long she had to open her eyes and look at him, everyone in the room was looking at her in awe.

"Anders?"

She felt a little embarrassed now, she hadn't realised she was being a spectacle.

He turned to the woman and grinned.

"Congratulations Emaline, you're having a baby!"

The woman Emaline just looked at Sam, her eyes wide in surprise.

"I had wondered why I was feeling so ill, I thank you!"

She hugged the girl and kissed Anders on the cheek before leaving to tell her family.

The mage turned back to her grinning,

"I had suspected but you just confirmed it."

He took her hand again, tracing the delicate markings and causing her skin to tingle.

"I don't care what Fenris says, you have a great gift, it may have come through pain and suffering but you can help alleviate that of others…What do you plan to do with it?"

She pulled her hand away and looked at it, really looked at it for the first time. The markings were definitely beautiful, the magic that lay there had kept them soft and delicate even through her slave days. It was true they caused her physical and mental pain but if she could help others just to spite Danarius…

She looked at the mage and smiled shyly.

"Got any openings for an assistant?"


	6. Chapter 6

She tried to concentrate on her task but her thoughts kept slipping, all she could think about was Sebastian and how he had said goodbye.

"I need to return home to Starkhaven, there are some things I must attend to there."

He had brought the subject up at her last archery lesson; she let the slack go in her bow and looked at him.

"I see."

"I shouldn't be gone long, a couple of months perhaps."

_A couple of months?_

"I think you have learnt all I can teach you, you'll do fine in a fire fight if worst comes to worst."

She didn't know how to say goodbye, she didn't want him to leave, and he had become such a big part of her life. She went to raise her bow again but tears blurred her vision, she did not want him to see but the war of emotions on her face was evidence enough. He took the bow gently from her hands and placed it beside him; taking her arms in his strong hands he made her face him.

"Don't be sad Samantha, I'll be back before long. You'll be so busy with Anders in his clinic you won't even know I'm gone."

She doubted that but she smiled anyway, trying to disperse her sadness.

It had all been so formal, like she was an acquaintance, not the friend she thought she had come to be.

"Sam! Be careful!"

She had been so caught up in her own thoughts she hadn't even noticed the crates in front of her as she crashed into them. She was sent flying into a table, the surface of it knocking the wind out of her. Stars clouded her vision as strong, cool hands lifted her and checked her over.

"Are you ok?" came Anders voice through the fog, she nodded and patted him away, standing and nearly collapsing again from dizziness. He took her arms gently but forcefully and led her to one of the many pallets that littered the room.

"I'm fine Anders," she mumbled as her vision began to clear.

"Yes, well I'd rather you didn't smash up my clinic any more if you don't mind. Just sit there until the dizziness passes."

She sat obediently and watched as he worked, he moved meticulously about the room, talking to people, diagnosing and healing…

It was no wonder he was always exhausted by days end, she knew how hard he worked and how easy it was to get caught up in it. She had to remind him to eat sometimes, to keep up his strength so that he didn't pass out from everything. She was curious as to why he hadn't gone with Hawke and the others, he was a capable and strong mage and he could have been useful in the Deep Roads. She understood he had his patients but that had never stopped him from helping the other mage before. Thinking of it made her think of Fenris and that made her think of how she _hadn't _been thinking of him. Granted she had been busy, and maybe she had not _wanted _to think of him, it had been months now, who know when they'd be back…

If at all…

"Feeling better?" asked Anders as he plopped down beside her causing the pallet to creak. She nodded silently as she watched him drink some water and then splash it on his head and face, she cringed as some of the droplets hit her, sending a shiver up her spine.

"You've been very distracted lately, care to share?"

She was surprised at his concern but found herself grateful, she had been feeling quite invisible lately as everyone did their own thing, it was nice to hear someone ask how she was for once.

"I'm just…restless. And concerned. It's been so long…"

"I wouldn't worry, I've seen Hawke get out of harder scrapes then the Deep Roads."

"Speaking of…" she began hesitantly, "Why didn't you go? It was your maps they were using right? I'm sure they could have used you down there."

He chuckled softly but she caught the pained expression as he responded.

"I'm a Grey Warden, me and the Deep Roads don't exactly get along…"

Ah yes, a Grey Warden. She had heard a little about them, something about drinking the blood of the Dark Spawn.

"I imagine that was unpleasant, the whole Grey Warden thing I mean."

"Well it was either that or go back to the Circle, and there was no way in hell that was happening. And aside from the horrible nightmares, incessant hunger and shortened lifespan…it's not all that bad really."

She didn't know what to say to that. Suddenly Merrill appeared out of breath and eyes gleaming,

"They're back! They're at the Hanged Man now!"

Without another word she scrambled off. After the initial shock Sam jumped to her feet, they were back! She ran as fast as she could up through Dark Town and into Low Town, as she approached the Hanged Man she slowed and took a few deep breaths, fixing her hair before entering.

It was true, they were there, a little worse for wear but whole and smiling.

"Hey kiddo there you are!"

Varric's voice cut through the din and everyone turned to look at her, she attempted nonchalance but she couldn't hide her grin of relief and happiness.

"You're still alive then?" She asked as she approached.

"Alive…and richer then the King of Fereldan!"

She stopped in her tracks,

"Say again?"

Garrett grinned as he echoed Varric's statement, "We'll be out of Low Town before nightfall, Mother will finally have the life she deserves."

Well, that was a development, but something in the pit of her stomach just couldn't be happy for him. She hated herself for that, he was a good man and still she condemned him where she didn't do so to Anders or Merrill. The mage moved aside and she finally saw Fenris, he had a frown on his face as he looked at her.

"What?" She asked suddenly self-conscious of her appearance.

"You look…different."

He grabbed her arms, feeling the muscles that rippled beneath her clothing. He arched his eyebrows in surprised, his eyes questioning.

"I've been…working out."

She filled him in on her lessons with Sebastian and helping out Anders, he glowered when she mentioned the mage but shrugged it off, he had the same prejudices about Anders that she had for Garrett.

"I see. You've certainly been busy."

"Well I didn't have much choice, it was either that or sit here fretting an ulcer over you guys."

Varric's voice carried over everyone before he had a chance to reply.

"Next round is on me!" he bellowed jingling his now fat coin purse. Sam just laughed.

OOOOOOOO

Time passed so quickly after that, Sam and the Hawkes were relocated to their old estate in High Town. There was still bad blood between Garrett and Carver because he had joined the Templars, to tell the truth she never saw that coming. Before she knew it, it was her eighteenth birthday, at least she thought so, her time in Tevinter and as a slave had put her off her body clock completely…

It was close enough anyway.

Leandra smiled as she brushed the girl's hair,

"I remember Bethany's eighteenth birthday, it was just before the attack on Lothering. Of course her and Carver being twins they shared it but she was my only girl and eighteen is a special day…"

She put down the brush and looked at the girl in the mirror.

"You've grown into a fine young woman Samantha, any man would be lucky to have you as a wife."

Sam nearly choked in response.

"Ex-excuse me?"

"Well…you are of marriageable age, and now that the Hawke's have been redeemed offers should be pouring in. You're practically family you know, no one need know you aren't."

She seemed puzzled by the girl's reaction, Sam was speechless.

"I have even heard there's a young prince in Kirkwall, just returned from his travels, _and_ he is quite eligible apparently."

"_Hell to the no!"_ she thought fiercely as she stood, "I'm sorry Leandra, I have to go."

She needed to get out, she needed to think.

Was this what her life had become? Was she just cattle now to be sold off to the highest bidder?

She needed calm, serenity.

She headed for the Chantry, not even looking up as she grabbed her bow and headed into the courtyard. Her target was a bit worse for wear having been used so much over the years. Every time she used it she thought of Sebastian, of how he was supposed to have only been gone a couple of months and those months had stretched into years…

"Samantha?"

That familiar lilt almost caused her to drop her bow; she turned slowly as he approached, a smile clear on his features.

"Sebastian?"

She couldn't believe it, once again he had appeared out of nowhere when her heart was in turmoil.

"You've…grown."

Those words caused her to laugh heartily, breaking the tension in her body.

"I've heard time does that to you."

He just stood looking at her, she had stopped laughing and it was fast becoming awkward. She turned away and restrung the bow lifting it and aiming with an expert hand. As she let the arrow fly it hit the target nearly dead centre, a large hole had begun to form in that exact spot.

"You've improved."

"I learned from the best." She replied, nocking and releasing another arrow.

She knew he could see the tension in her stance, the cogs working in her mind.

"Is something troubling you?"

She sighed and released the bow; it clattered to the ground as she sat heavily on the side wall.

"I'm always troubled you should know that by now."

He just sat next to her, crossing his arms and waiting for her to talk. It wasn't hard to open up to him, even after all the time had passed it felt like just yesterday she was having her first lesson with him.

"Leandra wants to marry me off; I'm not even her child! I feel like a prize pig or something, going to the highest bidder."

"I'm sure she doesn't mean-"

"Oh she does she, she is projecting onto me. I'm not Bethany and I think she forgets that sometimes…She even told me about some prince from some far off country! He's probably old and ugly…and fat!"

It was a minute before she realised he was laughing, he was laughing so hard he couldn't make noise, there were even tears in his eyes. She felt a bit offended.

"What the hell is so funny?"

He tried to calm down but it took him a minute or so, the whole time she glared at him. Finally he took a deep breath and looked at her, the mirth still clear in his eyes.

"Samantha, I can quite confidently say he is none of those things."

She eyed him suspiciously, "And how is that?"

"Because the prince she was talking about…is me."

She felt like she had been punched in the stomach.

"You're…serious?"

"Very."

That was a lot to take in, and it also made a lot of sense.

"But then…how can you be a Brother?"

He cringed slighty, as though hurt by a far off memory.

"Extenuating circumstances."

He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed slightly.

"I'm sure Leandra isn't doing it to hurt you, if you say something to her she will understand."

He laughed again and she noticed how nice his laugh was.

"And don't worry, I'm not looking for a bride, I hope that puts your heart to rest."

In retrospect, it didn't.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's note: **_

_So, I think it's been about 3 years since I updated this story so my writing style has changed a little, I hope its not too jarring a jump from previous chapters. Anyway, I was inspired again even though I haven't actually played in two years, but I am hoping to get out a chapter here and there and continue this as I have many ideas in mind for it. Please bear with me and enjoy, hoping to get the next chapter out soon._

OoOoOoOoO

Sam remained quiet as Sebastian walked her home, it was pleasant, just walking with him again. He told her of his travels as they strolled along and she filled him in on all that had happened since he had been gone. He didn't seem changed at all which comforted her, but every now and then she felt his eyes on her and knew it was because she had changed a lot. She was no longer the child he had said goodbye to, in the two years he had been gone she had shot up and filled out. No longer a child but a young woman, although in her mind she had always been so after all her trials. She considered herself quite mature considering the almost four years she had been in Thedas, it was her old life that seemed like a dream now.

"Here we are then," He looked up at the mansion that the Hawkes now occupied, "I see Hawke has done well for himself." There was a soft smile on his lips and she returned it as his eyes met hers. "You could say that, suffice to say I have my own room now, cool right?" He chuckled softly, they had all become used to her strange manner of talking and slang, but it must have been a slight shock for him to hear it again after so long. "Indeed, having ones own room does have it's perks..." His grin made her eyebrow rise questioningly but before she could ask what he meant Leandra appeared.

"Samantha, there you are! I was worried." The frown she had been habouring turned to relief and then curiosity as she looked at Sebastian. "Oh, Leandra, this is...Sebastian, he's a monk from the Chantry." His eyes flicked to hers as she introduced him as such, his smile warm as he greeted the older woman. "Lady Hawke, I have heard so much about you from your son Garrett, I am sorry it has taken me so long to come and introduce myself." He bowed and Leandra seemed both flustered and pleased. "Oh, well then, you must come in for tea and refreshments."

"I don't think that's really-"

Samantha tried to put a stop to it but Leandra cut her off, "Nonsense, Garrett will be back soon anyway, you can wait for him in the parlour." The girl bit her lip and looked worriedly at Sebastian but he did not seem to mind. They followed Leandra into the house and Bohdan brought out some refreshments and tea.

"So then Sebastian, you're a monk? I am betting your mother is very sorry to hear that."

Sam internally facepalmed, she never thought when she got here she would ever have the awkward 'boy you like meets the parents and gets asked awkward questions' experience. It was then that she froze, oh Maker, she liked Sebastian, really liked him. No wonder she had been a little upset when he said he wasn't looking for a bride. It had never occurred to her before now, but he had always been there for her without question, listened to her, smiled at her and comforted her. Even Fenris with whom she had a special bond had never done that. Neither of them seemed to notice how pale she had gone all of a sudden, before the blush spread over her face.

"My mother passed a way a long time ago, but I'm sure in this case you would be right."

He smiled kindly at the flustered older woman, "Oh, I am sorry to hear that. I am sure you are very devoted to your work, but tell me, why have I never seen you around? You seem to know Garrett and Sam here."

"I have been away for a long while, I have only just returned from visiting my home." Sam's heart skipped a bit but she nearly sighed in relief when he did not mention Starkhaven. Just as she thought it Garrett returned, the girl scowled when she saw who was on his arm, even now she did not like Isabela.

"Sebastian! You're back? How was Starkhaven?"

Sam wanted to throttle him, she could see the cogs working in Leandra's head as recognition dawned. "Oh, you're that Sebastian? The prince?" Sebastian's gaze caught Sam's, an apologetic look in his eyes as he replied. "Indeed I am ma'am."

"Well then, Samantha, why didn't you tell me you knew a prince?" The chuckle seemed a little too forced to her, "Because I didn't know I did until this morning." Isabela had sidled up to Sebastian and put her hand on his arm, "Still wearing that underwear with Andraste's face chantry boy?" Her voice was a purr but the young prince didn't seem put off. "I see you haven't changed Isabela."

"Change is for peasants." She laughed at her own joke, they had all been so not long ago, what was wrong with her. Her eyes caught Sam's and a devious grin spread across her features. "I bet you think Sam has changed a lot though, enough to make you regret certain vows?" Sam could feel her face grow hot, if she hadn't been wearing gloves she knew her nails would be digging into her palms. "Samantha has grown into a fine young woman, don't make jokes at her expense."

What kind of answer was that? He didn't even blush or hesitate, she should have known better than to expect a different reaction, the small seed of hope that had been placed in her by his off hand looks died. She stood suddenly, "If you'll excuse me, I forgot I had to do...something."

"Samantha wait-"

But she would not, she left the house with great haste, not wanting them to see the hot tears that flowed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A short while later she found herself outside Anders' clinic, she watched as people entered and exited and marvelled at the mage. He treated so many people daily, he was either incredible or stupid.

"Sam! Just the person I wanted to see!"

He bounded up to her like an excited puppy, surprising her. "Hello Anders, what is it?" He took her hand and tugged her toward the back room where they would not be seen or heard. "What are you-"

"I don't want anyone to see us, this needs to be a secret."

He turned and faced her, his expression more earnest and serious than she had ever seen him. "Ok..." He took a deep breath as she looked at him curiously. "I need your help with something, and only you can help me." He stopped and watched her and she nodded her head slowly, waiting for him to continue.

"I have been...helping mages to escape the Circle, every once in a while, using the sewers and tunnels beneath Kirkwall." Her eyes widened in surprise but before she could say anything he charged on, wanting to get it all out before she could turn him down.

"There is a Templar, he is...cruel for the sake of being cruel. He has no morals and no regard for the life of a mage. He is trying to stop me and kill any mages that escape... He is turning mages Tranquil, mages I know passed their Harrowing, there are more and more of them every day in the courtyard of the Circle."

"But wouldn't Carver have said something? He dislikes his brother, but I know he is a good person, he wouldn't torture mages or want that for Garrett."

Anders shook his head, "He probably doesn't know, he is new to being a Templar and I'd say they know his connection to Garrett. I need to find evidence, maybe then I can save more mages, do something about the Templar threat."

He took her hands, and she could feel him shaking, it scared her slightly as she had never seen him like this before. "But what can I do Anders, a bow won't do much good in the sewers with all those enclosed spaces and corners." He shook his head and removed her gloves. "This, I need you to use your power." She didn't understand.

"If I know they are coming, we can hide easier, or we can at least heal anyone that gets hurt. Please, I cannot ask anyone else, not even Hawke." He looked so desperate that she found herself agreeing before she had even thought about it.

"Alright..."

The look of relief that crossed his features touched her, he actually needed her, for the first time in her life she could help someone. She would show them that she was useful, maybe then...Maybe they would stop seeing her as the little sister to protect and finally let her grow up.


	8. Chapter 8

They had been standing outside the entrance to the underground tunnels for a few minutes now, she had snuck out while no one was looking, she would definitely have been questioned if they saw her leaving so late at night. Anders had explained to her that the tunnels had been used for a long time by Lyrium runners so they might run into trouble.

"Just stay close and I'll protect you, if anything happened to you I don't know what Fenris would do to me." She smiled through her nervousness, this was it, she was finally going to prove her worth, an initiation of sorts. She had always felt on the outside, every one forgetting her or not even considering her because of her inexperience, well, this was it. Anders had given her a chance, and she was going to take it. He took her hesitation as someone else and placed his hand on the top of her head. "I promise I will look after you, nothing will harm you while I am with you." She nodded confidently before following him into the tunnels.

She had brought her bow, had an arrow nocked, it probably wasn't necessary but the security of the weapon made her feel better. They were discreet, quiet, it was easy to hide when they heard someone coming, not that anyone was taking much care to be quiet.

"I have personally led five mages to safety through these tunnels, they bent down and kissed the ground through the sewege." His voice sounded tired and forlorn and she touched his arm, it seemed to snap him out of his revellry. "I need you to try something for me." Taking both her hands he removed the leather gloves that hid her glowing markings, she watched as he looked at them in fascination for the thousandth time.

"Do you remember the time I asked you to close your eyes and look? seeing what was in that pregnant girl?" She nodded, it was so long ago now but still clear as day in her mind. "Good, I want you to try that now, but instead of just seeing me, try to reach out and sense other people."

"Don't you think it's a bit short notice to try something that complicated?" She balked at the idea, her voice low as she looked at him, but he just smiled encouragingly. "I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could do it, and there wasn't really time to practice. Just try it, I think you'll surprise yourself."

She bit her lip but he just looked at her expectantly until she sighed and gave in, closing her eyes. For a few seconds there was nothing, then suddenly she could 'see' Anders, the yellow glow of his circulatory system and the soft beating of his heart, she could see it thumping away and sensed his nervousness. "Are you...afraid Anders?" She didn't open her eyes but she sensed his hesitation. "Not for myself."

His voice was a low murmer as he held her hands. "Now try to...branch out, sense other people, see them like you see me." She frowned in concentration, it was hard, the brightness of his aura was cancelling out anything else until-

"Wait a second, I think..."

Without waiting for him she moved forward, opening her eyes and following her senses. "Sam, stop!" He whispered fiercely as he grabbed her arm and pulled her against him, she had almost walked into a room filled with Templars. They hid in the shadows and watched, trying to keep their breathing quiet. "They look different, in my mind." Anders nodded, his eyes still on the Templars as he replied. "That's probably the lyrium, Templars drink it so they have their own powers to use against the mages."

A scream caught them both off guard and they turned to see a Templar standing over a young mage girl, she looked terrified, he looked like he was enjoying himself immensely. "No please, I haven't done anything wrong!" He kicked her and laughed, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her to her feet until his face was inches from hers. "You're a very naughty girl, trying to sneak away. But once you are made tranquil you'll do anything I ask…"

Sam was disgusted by his tone, she could see that Anders was struggling to keep himself under control. She looked at him and something on his face terrified her, "Anders what-"

"You fiends will never touch a mage again!"

He glowed an iridescent blue, his eyes radiant orbs in his skull as power burst forth from him, decimating the Templar. The others reacted fiercely, throwing themselves at him, but this was nothing like they had ever seen before, Sam could only watch in awe and fear as he finished off the remaining enemy. She ran to the girl and helped her to her feet, the poor thing was shaking like a leaf when the thing that was Anders finally turned to face them.

"They will die, I will have every last Templar for these abuses!"

His voice was not his own, the look on his face quelled her heart but she forced herself to move forward, touch his arm. "Anders, please calm down, there is no one left." Her voice was shaking and the young mage girl was sobbing behind Sam, "Get away from me demon!"

Hearing those words from the girl caused Sam to turn and look at her, demon? Was this why people feared the mages? The ethereal blue gaze of the thing that was Anders turned on her, scowling. "I am no demon, I am Justice! Are you one of them that you would call me such?" He reached for the girl and Sam stopped him, spreading her arms and standing before her.

"Anders, she is the reason you are fighting, she is a mage like you!" The gaze of Justice, the spirit that had taken over her friends body turned to her hands, the soft blue glow of the lyrium causing him to scowl. "You are one of them, the lyrium drinkers, the ones who would keep me from being free!" Without warning his hands were on her throat, squeezing the air from her lungs.

"Anders!"

Her nails dug into his flesh, trying to loosen his grip, but he was expressionless as the black dots began to form in her vision. "Anders...you...promised." She was hardly able to choke out the words and a sense of panic within her unlocked something. Underneath her palms she felt a power radiating in her, a surprised look on the face of the demon/spirit that inhabited Anders, she could feel him weakening as she strengthened and realised that she was draining the power from him. He let her go, falling backwards as she collapsed, choking and wheezing, her hands on her throat as she sucked in sweet oxygen.

"Maker no," he whispered in agony, he looked at her, fear plain in his eyes, "I'm so sorry Sam, please..." He reached out for her but she recoiled, looking at him as though he were a monster. "Stay away from me!" She stood, wobbling on her feet, he seemed unable to do so himself. Her voice was husky and her throat sore, she knew she was going to have bruises and that there would be questions, but right now all she could think about was how betrayed she felt.

"I was right to not trust mages, they can never be your friends, in the end all they do is hurt you." Without waiting for an answer she turned and stumbled back through the tunnels blindly, leaving Anders to his misery.

OoOoOoOoO

It seemed an age before she reached the cool night air, shivering as she left the stink of the tunnels and made her way through the streets. Her hand held her throat, it hurt so much, she was sure if it had been a few more seconds he would have crushed her windpipe and the thought scared her so much. The shock of what had happened finally caught up with her and without warning she collapsed shaking in the middle of the deserted street, silent sobs wracked her body as she knelt there on her hands and knees. She could feel the tears but could not stop them. The betrayal cut like a knife, Anders had nearly killed her, and what was worse is that he was hiding that 'thing' inside him.

"What's this then?" She looked up to find an older gentleman looking at her curiously, "Has something happened miss?" He went to reach for her and she reflexively flinched. "Touch me and die!" Her tone was harsh as she stood and the man's eyes widened before he scuttled away.

"Is that any way to talk to a concerned citizen?" That familiar drawl had her back stiffening, _don't look at me, please, don't look at me._ "That's funny, it sounds exactly like something you'd say." Her tone was flat as she kept her back to him, her hands clenched. She did not expect the sudden touch as gauntleted hands turned her roughly.

"Sam, what has happened?" Fenris voice was agitated, his face concerned, his grip tight. "Why are you out here at this time of night and why are you crying?"

"I-"

She went to speak but winced at the pain in her throat, her hand instinctively going to cover it, it was then that he nodded the rapidly bruising flesh and his eyes widened. "Who has done this to you?" She had never heard such venom in his voice before, the hatred in his eyes did not match the gentleness of the hand that moved her own, touching her throat. But she couldn't tell him, he would kill Anders, of that she had no doubt. She wondered why that scared her, she felt betrayed by herself that she felt any concern for Anders at all after what he had done, but she couldn't forget everything he had done for her.

"Take me home, please?"

Her voice was barely a whisper, she looked down, her hair falling into her eyes. She couldn't stand the pained look in his eyes any longer. "Sam..."

"Please."

Her voice was more forceful this time, though still quiet. He sighed, "As you wish little flower." She knew he would not give up on this, there would be many questions, from everyone she suspected. Right now though it could wait, all she wanted to do now was sleep and forget for a while.


	9. Chapter 9

The household had exploded when she returned, gloveless, tear streaked and her throat turning purple. She took the scolding silently before returning to her room and leaning against the door. She sighed, knowing they were worried about her, but worried more about the consequences it would have on friendships that were tentative to begin with. "Sam, let me in." Fenris' voice was soft but commanding, she contemplated for a second on ignoring him but decided it probably wasn't the best course of action. She stood and opened the door and as he entered he closed it behind him. They stood, staring at each other, he did not ask her again what had happened but she knew he wanted to.

"I just wanted to help." She bit her lip after blurting out the words, she would have to explain herself now. "Help who? What happened?" He stepped forward, pleading with his eyes for her to open up to him and be truthful, she nearly snorted at that, he was the king of keeping things in.

"Anders, he..." Her fingers subconsiously touched her throat, "I saw Justice." Her voice was a faint whisper and she could no longer look at him, her hair in her face as she stared at the floor. Fenris didn't respond, he seemed frozen and she finally looked up at him, the rage she saw on his features surprised her.

"I'll kill him." His voice was soft and low but filled with malice, Sam grabbed his arm, pleading with him. "No, don't, leave it be Fenris." He looked at her incredulously, his eyes searching hers. "Why are you protecting him? He throttled you!" His voice sounded choked on those last words as his fingers went to her throat once again, pain clear in his eyes. She could not answer him, but she refused to let go, the heat of his anger bearing down on her. "What would posess you to do something that would cause this reaction from him? Why did he hurt you?" The questions came hard and fast and again she could not answer.

"Samantha, say something."

Without warning she felt herself wrapped in his arms, it had been a long time since he had hugged her like this, the last time being when they had found each other again. "I just...wanted you to see me as an adult, I wanted to prove myself to you, and the others." She had finally found her voice, her cheek against his chest as he stiffened at her response. "You all are always trying to protect me, but it feels like you are treating me like a child, I can look after myself." Her voice had risen steadily and she found herself pushing away from the elf.

"What do you think I did all that time without you? I haven't been a child for a long time, so stop treating me like one." She realised she was shouting now, all her pent up frustration finally having an outlet. "Anders was the first to ask for my help, to need me, in the clinic and this instance. I was the only one who could help him he said, and he was right." Her voice had turned bitter, "He was right." If she hadn't drained his power, things could have gone really bad, not that he had known that at the time.

"That is why I don't want him to be hurt, he was not himself." She knew the truth of her words even as she spoke them and it allowed her to forgive him a little, though she was still upset that she had not been told about the entity that inhabited Anders. He was not like the Tevinter or blood mages, he didn't hurt people for pleasure or laughs, he was trying to help others like himself. She would have to tell him that later. Fenris just stood, seemingly bemused by her outburst.

"Very well, you want to be treated like an adult, so be it. On our next venture or whatever Hawke has planned, you will come, but you are not to leave my sight, is that clear?" She nodded, and wihout another word he left the room. It was then she realised everyone else had been gathered outside the door listening. They all looked at her, tension thick in the air until Varric broke it.

"So, about this birthday party I keep hearing about..."

OoOoOoOoO

She had given in on the party idea, if only to placate Leandra and the rest of them after the whole debacle with Anders. They at least had the courtesy to wait until her bruises had vanished, which would be a few days. Fenris refused to leave her side now, even when he wasn't around she felt like he was watching her. A few years ago she would have given anything to have this kind of attention from him but at the moment it just annoyed her. She had upset him though and she knew it, so she let it slide, for now.

It took a day or so before she could bring herself to go see Anders and Fenris had protested against it heavily, in the end she told him she was going and he could stay behind if he was so adamant. He followed broodily as she entered the clinic in Dark Town, being sure to glower at the mage as he looked up from his work.

"Sam..." His voice was hesitant as he looked at her, "I am...surprised to see you." He seemed abashed, uncertain, but a small light of hope was on his features as he approached her slowly. "Anders." She had been thinking about what she would say for the past two days, but as soon as she saw him it all went right out of her head and she just stared at him, at a loss for words. The silence was awkward before the mage sighed and spoke. "I truly am sorry for what happened, I understand if you never want to see me or talk to me again. I had no control but I am glad you were able to stop me, Justice seems to be getting stronger and it scares me."

"...I forgive you Anders, and I'm sorry too, for just leaving you there like that." She was happy to be finally able to speak and he was inaudible with relief, smiling he reached out to her, only for her to find herself whipped behind the broad back of the elf. "Do not touch her Anders." She had forgotten Fenris was there until that moment, he had been so quiet. "You are never to touch her again if you want to keep your hands."

"Fenris stop." She spoke but Anders shook his head, "It's fine Sam, I understand, he is very protective of you, you're like his little sister." For some reason that seemed like a punch to her stomach and so she didn't reply. "Do not presume to know my feelings abomination, the only reason you are still standing is because she begged me not to hurt you. Keep your hands and your creature to yourself or next time I will not heed her."

Anders just bowed his head and looked at Sam apologetically, "Big brother has spoken, I won't ask for your help in that matter any more, but Sam...if you still want to help out at the clinic?" She smiled, thankful that things were semi back to normal. "I'd love to, if you want me back."

"Great, same time tomorrow then, go get some rest because you're going to need it."


	10. Chapter 10

Sam had never been to a party like this, so much fancy food and lots of people she didn't know. She wanted to grumble and scowl but she had told Garrett she would do this, for Leandra, on the promise that they would have a proper celebration after at the Hanged Man.

"Why do you look so glum? It's your birthday kiddo, cheer up." Varric had somehow made his way to her side without her noticing, but then again, it was what he did. "Glum? I'm not glum, I'm fine." She plastered a smile on her face but she could feel her mouth twitch and the dwarf laughed at her. "You're really something, just hang in there, your first drink is on me after ok?" He patted her back affectionately and she sighed. "I'll do my best."

"It's all you can do."

She wasn't used to the tight dress or the stiffness and formality, Leandra seemed to be in her element though. She had spent the past few days setting everything up, right down to how Sam would wear her hair and makeup and picking out her dress. "You look lovely." Merril's happy sigh caught her off guard and she turned to see the elf and Aveline standing beside her. Aveline was ever in her guard uniform, but seeing her in anything else would probably be odd.

"Thank you Merrill, I feel so strange though." She remembered the low cut dresses and tiny skirts from her home, this dress wasn't revealing per se, but it sure hugged her curves more than she liked. "I like your hair like that, it's really pretty, could you do mine some time?" Sam touched her hair, it had been braided and trussed, she didn't really like it and felt like an over dressed peacock, but Merrill had always liked the fancy things of the rich. "If that's what you want, I can do that." The elf girl beamed at her and Sam was able to give her first genuine smile of the night.

"That's the face we are looking for."

Why was everyone sneaking up on her, it was getting irritating. Garrett grinned at her and went to scruff her hair but Leandra stopped him. "Touch her hair my boy and I'll have you scrubbing the chamber pots for a week, high born or not." He looked at his mother sheepishly and Sam giggled, even so she was happy when everything was over. It was dark before the last guest left and she was able to change out of her dress. Letting out a breath of relief she escaped to her room, only to find Merrill and Isabela waiting. She looked at them curiously and suspiciously.

"What are you two doing?" Isabela grabbed her arm and began pulling the dress off much to the girls chagrin. "Hey, stop that!" Merrill just giggled and pulled out an outfit from a bag she had been holding. "Now it's time for the real party, you should dress the part!" She was way too excited about this and when Sam looked at the clothing she balked. "I am not wearing that!"

"Oh come on Sammy, it'll accentuate your curves perfectly, might even attract a certain prince's eye." Isabela teased and Sam blushed, what was she doing here anyway? She didn't even like her. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Her tone was huffy and the pirate rolled her eyes. "Well, it's this, or you go naked. Come to think of it that might be a better idea." The wicked grin that crossed the older woman's features convinced Sam that she was definitely not joking and she gave in.

"Fine, whatever, hand it here, but don't you dare laugh!"

OoOoOoOoO

Fifteen minutes later and feeling much less trussed up but way more exposed, she was dressed. Isabela had a smirk on her face, her eyebrow raised. "What do you think?" Sam asked nervously, biting her lip. "I'd do you."

"Isabela!"

The blush that scattered her cheeks only made the woman laugh, "You look fine, you're so matronly most of the time anyway, this is tame compared to some of the stuff you usually see right?" It was true, although a little cleavage was showing and the corset top hugged her tightly, she had seen far more revealing stuff on women just going about their daily lives. "I do like the pants though." It had been a while since she had warn them, they were akin to cargo pants from back home. Merrill clapped her hands excitedly, "Let's go, I can't wait to see Carver and the others!"

Sam raised her eyebrow at that, since when had Merrill been interested in Carver? As they made their way to Low Town Sam was relieved to find no one really gave her a second glance, she was just being paranoid because she was used to wearing more, it was no different from anything she would have worn before...

But it was so hard to remember now, it seemed a lifetime ago that she was on her way to school, ready to catch the bus, see her friends, listen to her iPod or something. All of it seemed another world now, which it was. She shook her head, she had no idea what Danarius had done or how she had come here, but she had resigned herself to the fact she would never be going back. This was her home now, these were her friends.

As they entered the Hanged Man, a cheer rose up and once again Sam blushed, she lowered her head but her hair didn't fall into her face and hide it this time after Merrill had braided it.

"There's the birthday girl, three cheers for Kiddo!"

More cheers went up and she shook her head, laughing as she was lead to a table occupied by Garrett, Varric, Carver, Gamlen and Fenris. She looked around but there was no sign of Sebastian or Anders. Her gaze caught Fenris' and she was confused by the surprise that crossed his features. Sitting next to him she smiled, tilting her head to the side.

"You look...nice." Raising an eyebrow she thanked him. "I didn't see you at the party, not your sort of thing I take it?" He shrugged and picked up his mug, "Not really, I don't like pompous display's over nothing at all." She crossed her arms in mock offense, "Excuse me, did you just say the day of my birth was a pompous nothing?" He choked and she had to pat him on the back, laughing at his reaction, "I didn't mean-"

"It's ok Fenris, I was joking." She had never seen him flustered like this before, it was a nice change to see him opening up a little. A mug was pushed in front of her and Varric sat across grinning widely, "Here you go, as promised, your first drink as a legal adult. Bottoms up Kiddo."

She picked up the mug and smiled wryly, "Don't you think it's time to give me a new nickname, considering I'm no longer a kid?" He shook his head and laughed, "You'll always be Kiddo, no matter how old you are." Sighing, she lifted the mug and took a huge gulp, immediately regretting her choice. It burned her throat and tears gathered in her eyes. Laughter erupted around the table as Fenris hit her back, trying to help her clear her lungs. "Maker that's strong," She gasped, wiping her face as she glared at the dwarf.

"Hey, you asked to be treated like an adult, so I thought you'd like to drink like one."

From anyone else those words would have sounded condescending, but she knew his heart was in the right place. Grinning mischeviously she took a deep breath and downed the rest of the alcohol, only wincing slightly as it burned her throat, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Impressive, barkeep, get this girl another!"

After that time seemed to blur as she was poured drink after drink, she felt floaty and giggly and she leaned on Fenris. The mood of the room was loud and raucous, and it was a little smoky, she wanted some fresh air and quiet. Standing, she wobbled slightly, Fenris caught her arm and began to follow suit. "I'm going to the little girls room, do not follow me." She mock glared at him, not looking at all intimidating as she headed for the door.

It was only a little fib she reasoned with herself, she wanted to be alone and Fenris would have followed if she had not lied. His concern for her was overbearing, it was strange how her attitude about that had changed, two years ago, the time before the Deep Roads expedition, she would have given anything to have him always by her side. Now, she figured she had grown up more and just wanted time to herself, not being constantly watched like she was fine china about to break.

"Samantha?"

The voice startled her and she squeaked a little, looking up to find Sebastian in the alcove where she was standing. "Oh...you scared me." She took a deep breath, he had not been at her 'other' party, even though he had been invited, she knew Leandra was disappointed about that, she could not admit to herself that she was a little as well.

"I didn't recognise you, I take it this is Isabela's doing?"

She nodded, "And Merrill, to be honest I feel a little exposed, it's definitely not what I'm used to."

"I don't know, I think you look...nice."

She raised a drunken eyebrow at that, that was the word Fenris had used, what did it mean? Were they just trying to be nice because she looked bad? She didn't want to think about it and shook her head, staring at him accusingly. "You're late, where have you been?"

Her voice sounded more pouty than she would have liked, but she couldn't help it. Maker help her, she'd never been drunk before, she was turning into a whiny brat, but Sebastian either didn't notice or he didn't seem to mind.

"I was actually waiting for your present, I was told it was to arrive today but it took it's time getting here." Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at him, "Would you like to see it?" She nodded and he smiled softly, holding out a hand to her. "Come with me then."

Hesitantly she took his hand, it occurred to her that this was the first time she had ever touched him, and she was surprised that his hand was so rough, even though it was comfortingly warm. She wondered if she should tell Fenris she was leaving, but it didn't matter, she was with Sebastian, nothing was going to happen. Smiling she took his hand, leaving the Hanged Man and Fenris behind.


	11. Chapter 11

This was nice, just walking with him like this. He was quiet as they made their way toward the Chantry and she wondered why he held her hand? Was it because she was a little drunk and he was offering her support? Or was it something else? She didn't want to think about it, to hope, have that small seed placed in her heart again when there was no chance it would ever flower. He was a Prince, and more than that a monk, married to his faith, there was no way anything could ever happen between them.

"Watch your step." She was pulled from her thoughts by the gentle tug of his hand, she hadn't even realised they were at the Chantry she had been so caught up in her own mind. They walked up the steps and toward the statue where they had first met, she smiled at the memory as she reached for the book and caressed its cover.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." With a smile he disappeared, it was late at night and it was dark and eerie inside the big building. Candlelight bounced off the golden statue as she looked up, not for the first time wondering how it was possible she was here, in this world. Was it the Maker's doing? Had she come through the Fade for a purpose, or was it all just the workings of a madman with an insane lust for power? Did it even matter anymore?

She had made a life for herself here, what would she do anyway if there was a reason, and more importantly, if she had the chance...would she go back?

"Here we are." The familiar lilt of his voice startled her, and she turned to find him grinning, holding out a bow and quiver. She looked at him in surprise, she had not been expecting this. "Sebastian, I can't accept this? It's too much..."

"Nonsense, besides, no one else could use it. I had it specially made."

It took her a few seconds to absorb the words, reaching out slowly she took the bow and examined it. The grip and limbs were made of a white maple, thick and strong, the string was a high quality and sung when she strummed it. The quiver felt soft under her hands, a sturdy but strong leather that shone with the oil that had been buffed into it to keep it weatherproof. She fingered the pattern that ran along the bottom of it and looked up at her companion.

"Flowers?"

He smiled softly and nodded, "It seemed appropriate, you have the heart and stoicism of a warrior, but you are still a delicate flower, no matter what you say." She wrinkled her nose at his words but could not stop the smile that spread across her features. "Thank you Sebastian, I love it, it's the best gift I've ever gotten." Without thinking she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest. He seemed to stiffen in surprise for a moment and she wondered if she had gone too far, but relief flooded through her as his arms wrapped around her and she felt his fingers stroking her hair affectionately.

"You are most welcome Samantha, it was the least I could do for your coming of age. I know how much you want to be useful and at least with this you can try your best. I have faith in you as I do the Maker."

She looked up at him, coming from him those words were precious and meant a lot, especially considering how entrenched he was in his religion. She froze as her eyes caught his, the expression on his face was unreadable, something between pain, curiosity and sadness. Her lips parted as she felt his hands on her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. Neither spoke as they stared at each other, knowing anything said would be useless in the face of things. "Samantha I-" He cut himself off, his tone was light, his voice deep but barely a whisper in the semi darkness of the Chantry.

"I should get you home, it is quite late."

He stepped away from her and she felt as though all the air had left her lungs in one swift moment. "Yes, you're right, the others will get worried if I am gone too long." Her voice was surprisingly clear and even considering how she felt. She knew this could never happen, it was just a crush and she should get over it, but even so, for the most fleeting of moments she had thought he might feel the same. Shaking her head she placed the quiver over her head and picked up the bow, it fit perfectly in her hand, she expected nothing less.

OoOoOoOoO

As they exited the Chantry it was quiet again, but it was different this time. Something had changed with the giving of this gift, it was no longer an easy, pleasant silence, Sam felt awkward and unsure. They were not far from the Manor when they were approached by a figure, at first she thought it might be Fenris here to scold her, but she did not recognise the face of the man who looked at Sebastian curiously.

"Are you Sebastian, the brother of the Chantry?"

Sebastian seemed tense, she felt his hand grip hers and push her behind him subtly. He looked at her and his eyes flicked to his own quiver on his back, his hand at his belt inches from his knife. Her eyes widened as she understood what he was trying to tell her and she nodded slowly. The man before them seemed impatient, a scowl on his lips as he repeated his question. "Well? You are Sebastian aren't you? Tell me you're not."

"I am who you say, why do you ask?" The Prince's voice was hard, not the friendly tone Sam was used to. A grin appeared on the face of the man and his voice rose as he called out. "Aye, he be the one we're after boys, get him for the ransom. Kill the girl."

_Kill the girl? _Sam felt panicky as they were surrounded, more men than she could count, drawn weapons and looking at them warily but hungrily. "Samantha!" Sebastian's voice cut through her fear, it was commanding but not unkind as he looked over his shoulder at her. "Maybe now is the time to cristen your present?" She had totally forgotten about the bow that she was holding, but she had no arrows...

Thinking quickly and standing back to back with her friend she reached over her shoulder and grabbed a handful of arrows from the quiver on his back, dropping them at her feet shenocked on and had it aimed at the assailant closest to her. "How precious, the monk and his protege, fighting for their lives." The man, their leader, laughed and drew his knife.

"How many do you think you can cut down before we get to you, two? three? it matters not, you're still going to die." Sam's face hardened, her jaw clenched. She could not speak but surprisingly her fear was gone, having Sebastian at her back gave her strength and courage. It was a tense few moments before one of the men made to move toward her, without thinking she let the arrow fly and his cry of shock cut through the night air as it found its mark in his shoulder.

"The next one will be in your throat." The menacing growl escaped her throat as the men laughed at her, adrenaline coursed through her as she felt the warmth of her friend at her back. "Take courage Samantha, we will yet live through this." She nodded as the fight began, time seemed to stand still as her arrows flew, her hands a blur as each found a target. Chests, throats, legs, causing pain, outrage and even death. But she was getting tired, and they were fast running out of ammunition, sharing the arrows between them. Sebastian dropped his bow and pulled his knife, Sam could see the sweat dripping from his brow as he frowned in concentration.

"Got ya!"

In the split second she had taken to look at her friend she was grabbed, a dagger cutting across her arm and causing her to drop the bow. She cried out in pain, she'd never been cut before, not like this. "Samantha!" Sebastian called out to her but he couldn't reach her, not without being compromised. The man that had hurt her looked down at her, a dangerous glint in his eye as he grabbed her injured arm and squeezed. He was purposely trying to cause her pain, get Sebastian to slip up, she bit her lip and shuther eyes tight, but she couldn't stop the sound as agony coursed through her arm, causing it to go numb. Her fingers reached for something, anything, and grasped onto one of the few arrows they had left. Gripping it tightly she screeched and shoved it into his eye socket. Now it was his turn to scream in pain, and she collapsed to the ground, holding her arm as he clutched his face in agony. But she hadn't killed him, and the rage and hatred she saw on his face as he stumbled toward her made her heart quail.

This was it, she was going to die. She closed her eyes and put her face to the sky. Silently apologizing to everyone for being such a failure. But it was taking too long, why wasn't she dead yet? And what was that dripping on her face?

Opening her eyes she was surprised to find the man standing just above her, his dagger drawn, a glowing hand protruding from the front of his chest. As the light in his eyes died, his weapon clattered to the ground as his body slumped lifeless and bloody to the side. The expression on Fenris' face scared her nearly as much as the one on her assailants.

Dazed, she looked around to find the enemy either dead or running, as Garrett, Merrill and the others had come to find them. Sebastian was breathing hard, his clothing spattered with blood and gore, she knew she must look a sight just as he did. He nodded, unable to speak, his energy drained as he leaned on Garrett.

"Sam."

She turned her head to find Fenris face right in front of hers, he had leaned down, was kneeling in front of her. He didn't look angry anymore, just relieved. "Are you ok?" She nodded, she tried to speak but her throat hurt and she realised she had been crying. Her energy was sapped, she felt exhausted and dizzy. The adrenaline had worn off and she could feel the numbness in her arm spreading. She tried to stand but her legs refused, she was shaking and realised she had lost a lot of blood. "Fenris, I'm sorry." Her voice was a croak as she reached out and gripped onto him with her uninjured arm, but she felt so weak and like she might fall over any second.

"Her arm, she is wounded." She felt strong hands wrapping something around her arm, she was being lifted and couldn't protest against it. "I thought she was pale from the shock, but she's lost a lot of blood." The voice sounded worried, "We should get her to Anders."

"Are you crazy? He tried to kill her!"

That was definitely Fenris, she opened her eyes and looked up at him, she hadn't known they had been closed. Sam realised she must have been fading in and out of consciousness. "Fenris." He looked down, his expression taut and worried, he was the one carrying her. Her hand reached up to touch his face. "I don't want to go back, I want to stay with you."

She hated that she sounded like a child, mewling like a kitten, but her words seemed to spark a panic in him. "You're not going anywhere little flower, do you hear me? I haven't even had the chance to scold you for leaving without me." He was trying to sound reassuring but she could hear the fear in his voice. "I love you, you know that right?" She smiled and patted his cheek and his eyes widened.

That's all she could remember.


	12. Chapter 12

Muffled voices brought her out of the darkness, but everything was fuzzy and it took her a while to get her head around the fact that she was awake. A warm hand was on her face and she opened her eyes to stare into the vivid green of the Elf's. The relief that washed over his face as he sat back was palpable.

"Welcome back." The voice belonged to Anders, and as she moved her head she realised that Leandra and Garrett were there as well. "How long was I out?" She tried to sit up but felt dizzy, clutching her head and groaning as Anders steadied her. "A day, you lost a lot of blood, fortunately we were able to get you to Anders before you bled out." She was surprised, she didn't think her wound had been that deep, but if memory served there were major arteries in the arms, hers must have been nicked by the blade.

She lifted her wrist, it was as though the mark had never been, such was the skill of Anders. "How do you feel?" It was the mage's turn to place a hand on her face, his was cool in stark contrast to Fenris'. "Thirsty." He smiled and looked at the others, "She'll be fine, she just needs to rest until she isn't feeling so weak."

"I am fine," she grumbled, but they all knew it was a lie, she was weak as a kitten and the proof was shown when she couldn't even hold the cup of water by herself. It was embarrassing. They left her to rest, Fenris the only one to stay. He helped her to drink and eat and once she was sated she sat back against the pillows. "Where is Sebastian?"

"He is fine, Anders looked him over but I assume he went back to the Chantry." She nodded somberly, maybe he was physically fine, but those men had been after him, she needed to know he was alright. "I want to see him." As she tried to get up Fenris shook his head and pushed her back gently. "Absolutely not, you're in no state to go anywhere, let alone walk half way across High Town." She sighed and rubbed her eyes, giving in.

"Get some rest, I'll be right here." She was surprised when he stroked her hair, leaning over the bed, the lyrium tattoos on his arms giving off a soft glow in response to her own. As she closed her eyes it made her think of how Sebastian had stroked her hair, that had been different to this, that had made her heart soar and plummet at the same time, this was just...comforting. Before she knew it, she was asleep again, but she dreamed of warm hands and kind eyes.

OoOoOoOoO

"I look horrible." Sam moaned as she peered into the looking glass Leandra had brought her, her hair was a mess, she had dark circles under her eyes and she was pale as a ghost. Even after recovering she still looked ill. "Nonsense, I know many a girl that would kill to have a complexion and skin like yours, you're beautiful." The girl scowled and tried to do up her hair a little but it just kept falling messily around her face. Leandra laughed and took out the brush, running it through her hair for her. "You're in a good mood." The young woman smiled in mock suspicion, Leandra did seem to be happy and glowy lately.

"Oh, you know, you kids aren't the only ones allowed to have a little fun you know." Sam raised an eyebrow, about to ask why, when Garrett knocked on the door. "Sam has a visitor." The girl jumped to her feet as Sebastian walked in, it was Leandra's turn to raise an eyebrow and she quickly grabbed her son's arm, pulling him away. Sam fiddled nervously with her fingers as she looked at her friend. "Samantha, how are you? Well I hope." His voice was like liquid comfort and she almost sighed as he spoke.

"I'm fine, I was going to ask you the same thing, those men were after you after all." He shook his head and stepped toward her, taking her hand. She started for a second before realising that he was looking where her arm had been injured. "Anders has done exquisite work again it seems. You can't even tell."

"Yes, though it's unfortunate, I'll never have any battle scars to attract a mate, or that's how Varric put it anyway." She was trying to be lighthearted, smiling and joking, but he still had not let go of her hand and it was making her nervous. "Why did you not tell Leandra who I was that day? When I walked you home?" The question knocked her off guard, it was so out of left field and something she never expected.

"I know it's silly, but I have been wracking my brain wondering, especially after your comment about being married off to a prince." She looked at him incredulously, wondering where this line of questioning was coming from.

"I...did it for you, because you said you weren't looking for a bride. I didn't want Leandra to push me on you and make things awkward between us." She could not read his expression, the emotions flitting over his face faster then she could read them. "And that's all?" She nodded, confused.

"I see. I just thought it was because you didn't like me, weren't attracted to me I mean. Especially after you did not want to accept my gift."

"Sebastian...where is all this coming from?" She tilted her head to the side as she looked up at him, but he had looked away, his cheeks flushed slightly. "I wasn't late to your party, I did show up, but you were surrounded by so many people and looked so beautiful. I did not think it was my place to approach you. I may have been born a prince, but I am a monk now, and those feelings, they have no place within me where Andraste and the Maker should take precidence."

Her heart was simultaneously crushed and lifted at once, what the hell was he trying to say?

"I don't understand..."

His hands were on her shoulders, a small chuckle escaping him. "Neither do I, and I was fully prepared to bury those feelings forever, after giving you that bow I was going to return to Starkhaven, but then something happened." He stopped, as if searching for words, she had never seen him like this and she felt a little sick, not wanting to dare hope he'd say what she longed to hear.

"It was...a beautiful sight, having you fight alongside me. Your fluid grace and lithe movements, the stoicism under pressure. I had never seen it's like, and then when you were hurt, collapsed in Fenris' arms...I was so afraid you were going to die. It was in that moment I realised I could never be without you, never not have you in my life. Until I knew you were ok, it was the most harrowing few hours of my life, I knew if I was ever away from you, it would be like that all the time."

She was in shock, felt herself clutching at his clothing as she looked up at him, frozen in place. "Even if you never return my feelings, I had to say something, I would have regretted it forever if something had happened to you and you didn't know." She bit her lip, her throat hurt, this was way too good to be true. "Sebastian..."

"You don't have to say anything, or feel obligated to return my feelings. I just wanted you to know, maybe it was selfish of me to put it on you like this, after your ordeal."

As she looked up at him, she smiled, the blush creeping steadily over her cheeks. "You...think I'm beautiful? Even looking like this." His smile was genuine as his hands found their way to her face, his calloused hands gently stroking her cheeks. "Always." She couldn't remember who had moved first, but his lips were on hers, warm and soft and she was returning the kiss fervently, her hands twisted into his shirt. She felt high, unable to believe this was actually happening, the crush she had been harbouring for years had blossomed into something else and against all odds the feelings were returned. Finally breathless she pulled away slightly, her cheeks flushed as she took a deep breath. "I guess that answers your question?"

Chuckling lightly he ran his fingers through her hair, "Indeed, more than enough." He leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I must return to the Chantry for now, but if you like I will come back tonight." She nodded in response, no longer able to speak, overwhelmed by everything that had happened. As he left she did not notice the shadow that lurked by the door, a faint blue glow illuminating the face of the elf before he disappeared.


End file.
